today's highlight reel

• i've been totally engrossed in the latter days. i think i'm having a special interest moment with utah, similar to my special interest moment with east berlin a couple years ago. i started reading it on the ferry yesterday and resumed today on my patio after i decided to stop working, lying on the couch, book held up against the sky. i was listening to a grateful dead live album and the clouds slid by above in the window created by the buildings around me. it's as if i didn't realize you could see clouds move until i was in college, watching those giant puffs sailing by in the midwestern expanse, clouds so large that you couldn't forget that the city you were in (chicago) was but a blip in the cornfields and vast flatlands that made up the region. lying on my patio couch reminded me of sleeping on larry's deck in torrey, what a magical night.
  • i've never read a memoir written this way before. i likened her writing style to joan didion's when telling jenna about the book the other night - direct and matter-of-fact, but joan has more of that nihilistic affect in both subject matter and tone, whereas judith freeman's writing is plainer. i think that's what makes the writing feel so engaging and powerful; she's not inserting herself as the author in present tense telling the story to you. there's no pandering, apologizing, or anything like that to try to accommodate the story for an audience. that doesn't mean there isn't drama, but the drama is often a product of or augmented by the seemingly unadorned narration.
  • what is it about utah that i find so interesting? natural beauty and the inner workings of mormonism aside, i think of it as a state with a pretty coherent and distinct identity, and the trickle-down effects of mormonism are interesting to observe. for example, when i think of ash's friends, i think of people who have maintained some level of childlikeness despite being parents. although the trad nuclear family culture is definitely true, she says the converse i observed also happens because people have kids so young that children don't necessarily serve as a marker of being in "a different stage of adulthood". maybe i just had an amazing trip there and now it's stuck in my mind. today when i walked out the door of my building i really had the thought that i might be over new york soon, that if i could find some way to live comfortably in a fun, weird town in the mountains i'd be there in a heartbeat.
  • while i read on my patio, the air at times carried the sweet, faint fragrance of the concord grapes that are now entering their post-ripe era, plopping onto my deck and juices drying up to leave only the black, shriveled skins behind. sometimes i'm so grateful i could cry. how lucky am i?
• "you're going to have so much fun," the guy at the bike shop tells me when i explain that i want a tune-up in prep for the bikepacking trip next weekend. when i'm picking up my bike today, he asks me when my trip is again and tells me to have a great time. i will!
• i'm so excited to try making coffee with my new SEY BEANS! henry's coffee setup at sustain really inspired me - i think it might be among the best drip coffee i've had in my life, although the drip at coffee check is pretty good too. i've never had drip coffee as floral as henry's though, and i think part of the magic comes from his manual grinder, but he made it with a mokapot, so i think attaining this level of luxury could be in the cards for me.
• i spontaneously went to the grocery store tonight and recreated some of the delicious camping dinner that i had 2 weekends ago in vermont - peppers and onions, although i didn't go so far to make the beans and sweet potatoes.
• ... however, i am sad to report that the 5 BUCK CLUCK that i subbed in for the vegetables above has only deteriorated in quality since when i was a regular purveyor about a year ago. the rotisserie chicken is consistently dry now, even the dark meat. i was so unenthused by the chunk of breast meat i sampled that i didn't even stop carl from eating the rest off my fork. to his credit, he seemed to really understand how forks worked.
• i love wearing my yellow cocteau twins shirt, i feel like the color really catches people's eye on the street and it's fun to stare right back at them. my ego balloons every time :) sorry! it's the truth. similar sensation: walking home with wet hair and an al fresco cup of tea in hand after othership today while listening to bardo's "while my guitar gently peaks".